Snooki’s Advice to Kim Kardashian: “When you meet your baby for the first time, you have to look flawless”

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New mom Snooki was kind enough to offer some valuable advice to pregnant Kim Kardashian on how to look her best while giving birth:

Kim, first impressions are everything, so when you meet your baby for the first time, you have to look flawless. If your face is already made up when your water breaks, you have plenty of time to do it in the hospital when you’re waiting to dilate. I waited 27 hours, and the whole time, I just put on makeup and watched cartoons. And, make sure you choose your makeup palettes wisely, because the hospital rooms are boring, the walls are white; it’s just not a good look.

Go for pink or red lips, rather than nudes. Remember to keep an extra pair of eyelashes in your purse, just in case your water breaks when you’re not at home. Or, just do like I did and bring a whole box.

Make sure you bring your own hospital gown, because hospital gowns at the hospital are ugly. And for me, I brought my own leopard-print satin. It just made me feel beautiful while I was in labor. Kim, I feel like you would be in more of a couture designer, maybe like Dolce & Gabbana gown.

Accessorize! Make sure you stay away from the big hoop earrings, because it can get caught in your extensions. You can wear some nice diamond studs so you look really cute in your selfies.

Trust me, you’re gonna get bloated and you’re gonna have like a million double chins, so cover the s— up!

Make sure your mascara is waterproof. Because you’re going to cry with the pain with a baby coming out of your vagina and also when you meet your baby for the first time. And, trust me, you do not want to look like a zebra.”

… says Snooki in an interview with MTV.

 

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66 thoughts on “Snooki’s Advice to Kim Kardashian: “When you meet your baby for the first time, you have to look flawless””

    • All I thought all the way through that is, “Are you fo’ real?”
      -She needs to be shot… Bad example to young girls out there :L ahahahaha. she makes me laugh :’)

      • Although I too find this woman ridiculous but someone who says things like “she needs to be shot” is hardly a better example regardless of whether it was a joke or not. imho

      • Jeesh, did you not read my comment? I get that the case of a s—ty joke and she’s not literally come after her with a gun. but excuse me this is funny how?

    • my thoughts exactly, but less graphic. it’s so incredibly sad that this vapid troll is paid to open the trash chute she calls a mouth to offer useless advice to an even more vapid troll. our society is sad, and even sadder is that it all started with reality TV, and it just seems to keep getting worse.

  1. This has to be sarcasm or her attempt at making fun of Kim. She can’t possibly serious. I just…….I don’t think I want to live on this planet anymore if this is real. To Mars!

  2. snooki is attention starved. she never got attention for being beautiful or pretty cos she isnt. so she has to resort to saying stupid SH.IT like this to get attention.

  3. oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!!!
    I read this and my jaw just drop… is this a real person? a real mom?
    Or maybe it is important to look flawless that day because it will be one of the few times the baby will see his/her mom face to face, since he/she will be raised by a nanny and probably only hang out with the mother when she feels like she needs to have her photo taken.

    Excuse my english… I speak spanish.

  4. I’m ASSUMING it’s meant as a joke (in which case its actually pretty funny). Not even Snooki is so dumb to not realize babies have no concept of how you look (and obviously no frame of reference that you’re not miss universe or whatever). I remember when Kourtney was having her first kid she put on makeup after her water broke, but that was kinda different since she was clear that she felt totally normal and just didn’t want to look like a complete mess in the photos. my 2 cents is that’s what post-photoshop is for, but I’m sure snooki was just trying to be funny

  5. Pro tip: your baby won’t remember what you look like and won’t care. For the first 2 years, the only thing it will care about is that you’re holding it, changing its diaper, and that you’re feeding it.

  6. Hahahaha I can’t beleve that a lot of you are taking this post zo serious! I think it’s hilarious! And the whole idea of Snooki giving advies to Kim Kardashian?? It’s like the blind leading The blind..

  7. Hahahaha I can’t beleve that a lot of you are taking this post zo serious! I think it’s hilarious! And the whole idea of snooki giving advies to Kim?? It’s like the blind leading the blind..

  8. Hahahaha I can’t beleve that a lot of you are taking this post zo serious! I think it’s hilarious! And the whole idea of snooki giving advies to Kim?? Funny

  9. Does she really believe in what she says?
    Because if she does,that’s the biggest problem,not the fact itself that she says it.

  10. Haha my favorite part was “Make sure you stay away from the big hoop earrings, because it can get caught in your extensions”…that is classic

  11. When Mothers first see their baby, do the babies even have their eyes open? But nevertheless babies probably don’t care how Mommy looks. I think Snooki was just joking (I HOPE she was just joking)

    • Not only can no one in the history of ever, remeber opening their eyes and gazing at mommy for the first time, new borns also lack the capacity to even see properly, they can not diatinguiah features let alone see something as small as a stud earring. I can not believe this is real?! Its so scary if it is….

  12. hahaha never knew that snooki was so funny! to everyone who thinks that she really means all this stuff………….facepalm

  13. Ohmafreakingosh!
    This is got to be the most ridiculous comment in a thread on this site!
    I just can’t help but think she also wears makeup every second of her life.
    Looking flawless all the time must be the most important thing in her life.So sad.
    My heartfelt pity for her child…

  14. I really enjoyed reading this, so thanks Snooki. If she wasn’t so simple I would think she was sending up Kim and/or herself.

  15. This is hilarious! Ofc she wants to be looking ~*fabulous*~ (sparkle sparkle) when doing anything in her life. From pooping to popping out babies!

  16. Well I guess Snooki and Kim K are in the same kind of trashy league. Still, I’ve never heard such strange advice in my life. Women after giving birth usually look the worst they ever have (I certainly looked like a shocker) but who cares? Not the baby that’s for sure!

  17. Snooki is just awesome. She takes media entertaining to another level. I sure hope Kim takes notes on these advise 😀 did snooki get b❆❆b job? Has she done something to her face?

  18. can somebody tell me what’s wrong with her teeth?? is it veneers?? her mouth looks ridiculous, it’s all i can look at.

  19. After that post on Emma Watson, I thought for sure they were wax. But, alas, they have just been heated and reheated so many times that they look like wax.

  20. first impressions are everything. lmfao. this coming from someone who would join an mtv reality show. out of anybody in the world to give advice, it is NOT her. ever.

  21. haha, i doubt she’s joking.
    that extensions part was very funny but the truth, lol, they do have extensions, tho i’m sure kim lies about them too.
    her advice is kinda exagerrated and i wouldn’t worry about the kid, but if pictures are going to be taken, i would wanna look good. not in a flashy way with fake lashes-i never wore any anyway, but you know, not just a lil concealer there and there.

  22. I don’t find myself as frustrated with this girl as most people. At least she is not pretending to be someone she’s not, she’s honest about who she is, and she’s completely harmless

  23. …It’s a joke, you guys. She’s possibly even making fun of the fact that she did some of this stuff for her own labour, which I’m sure she was told to do by producers of her show (since she has a certain “image”).

    Chill.

  24. Imagine what would happen if she went in for a colonoscopy. She’s clearly got narcissistic personality disorder. I think the idea of primping for post-birth pics is sick. It shows you’re clearly more concerned with yourself than the baby, and that’s not going to end after the pictures are over. It would just lead to the creation of another little entitled monster. Why should you look pretty for childbirth? What do your looks have to do with it?

  25. If you’re not willing to let your own flesh and blood see you without makeup on and hair all done, then I don’t know what to say.
    I have friends who are married and wear makeup to bed. They’ve told me their husbands have never seen them without makeup. I cannot understand it. So fake imo.

  26. i can only assume that snookie is trying to pull one on kartrash. i’m just question whether or not snookie’s got the pluck or ingenuity to pull off something like that.

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