Bridget Malcolm: “If someone offered me a piece of fruit to eat, I would become so anxious”

4A9F7ACE00000578-5552295-Dishing_out_advice_Bridget_has_previously_spoken_about_her_diet_-a-35_1522209470104 - Bridget Malcolm: "If someone offered me a piece of fruit to eat, I would become so anxious"

On struggling with body dysmorphia and practicing starvation:

I would like to acknowledge and apologise for some of the things I wrote and spoke about over the past couple of years. I genuinely thought that I was doing the right thing for my health and wellness. I now know that I was completely in the depths of body dysmorphia and it really worries me that I was not a positive role model out there.

For the record, I never did lie about what I ate. I always was truthful. But the amounts I ate were never enough. The part that gets me though is that I truly thought they were. When I claimed that I ate loads, I thought that I did. I would fill up on foods that were low calorie, and think that I was eating a healthy balanced diet. I was extremely active, sometimes training 2-3 hours a day, and thought that that made me fit. But if someone offered me a piece of fruit to eat, I would become so anxious and fearful at the thought of having to eat it (something unplanned) that I would nearly be sick with worry. And I couldn’t calm down my anxiety until I had completed my training for the day. If I had a 5am call time, I would be in the gym at 3:30am. If my flight landed at 8pm, I would be in the gym at 9pm.

I am trying to temper my true passion for health and fitness with balance and meaning. I would eat such an extreme diet, and train so hard because I would look in the mirror and see someone who needed to lose weight looking back at me. I saw excess weight that needed to come off. When I would give interviews and discuss my eating habits I truly believed that eating predominately vegetables and protein shakes was ok. Obviously this is not ok. I am sorry for being so public about damaging eating habits.

Body dysmorphia is a terrifying thing. I have had countless conversations with fellow models, all of whom are tiny, where they call themselves fat. It is such a hard thing to understand if you are removed from this – weight and size should be objective. Either you fit the clothes, or you don’t. But when it becomes a mental game like this, it grows wings of its own. When I made the decision to start eating again, I really struggled with dysmorphia. Because this time I really was gaining weight. Nothing crazy – I threw away a few old pairs of jeans, but I am not built to be too curvy. But it was enough to give those head demons a microphone, especially since I had taken away the self soothing method I used to employ (starvation).

… says Bridget.

 

4A9F7EA500000578-0-image-a-116_1522206800378 - Bridget Malcolm: "If someone offered me a piece of fruit to eat, I would become so anxious" 4A9F7EB500000578-5552295-Mental_health_battle_Bridget_went_on_to_reveal_her_struggle_with-a-36_1522209470210 - Bridget Malcolm: "If someone offered me a piece of fruit to eat, I would become so anxious"

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26 thoughts on “Bridget Malcolm: “If someone offered me a piece of fruit to eat, I would become so anxious””

  1. Whatever her reasons for doing this are, I like that she’s holding herself accountable. We all know that most of these girls don’t eat what they say they do, or not in the amounts that they want us to believe. It’s good to hear one actually confirm it. She also comes across as being more articulate than most, which is also a plus for me. I hope she is really working on a healthier mindset.

    • I think we always knew they starved themselves, good to see it confirmed with someone who came to their senses, albeit later.

  2. Seems like she’s eating bread, crackers based on what she’s posting, which is good. Usually people who are so carb deprived will crave those foods the most. She should not be afraid of adding healthy carbs like fruit, sweet potatoes, quinoa, whole grains, legumes etc. she used to share foods that were just vegetables and coconut oil. She should eat more carbs and a healthy amount of fat, protein

        • if she were a doctor, yeah she would be cute, but for a model? no way. next to some models she has worked with like alena blohm, and kelly gale, she is plain AF. i’m not saying this to drag her, but why does society think every tall thin white women is model material? i can’t think of any other reason stella maxwell and martha hunt are VS angels. this woman is extremely narcissistic and only speaks about issues in the fashion industry that affect her, but i never hear her talk about any of the real injustices in fashion. yeah it’s messed up that she is told to lose weight when she’s already struggling with her weight, but she could always find a different job. duckie that has to bring her own foundation and makeup to shoots and shows. bridget is about as body positive as em rata is a feminist.

          • it’s her life, she was in the middle of something really terrible for her, for other models, and for girls around the world who worship them, yeah she’s talking about it because its a big deal, and I’m glad she is. When you’re suffering mental illness (includes EDs), you don’t have a lot of room to worry about other problems in the world because your own are very consuming. and if it was just her that these problems affected she probably wouldn’t share as much, but she recognizes its not just her… idk, I think its not very compassionate to complain that she’s only talking about her own issues… she’s talking about her own issues because they aren’t just her own. After she recovers she’ll have more energy to worry about the rest of the worlds problems. As long as she is sick, she is very limited in what she can contribute to the world. Personal health should always come first; if you’re not healthy yourself, its impossible to help anyone else.

          • wow you’re totally twisting what i just said. you’re interpreting this the way you are because this affects you personally (based on what you have said in previous posts as well). models being too thin triggers YOU, that’s why you’re so upset and needed to make this about women like bridget (aka yourself). racism doesn’t affect you. that’s why you’re not bothered by it. racism doesn’t affect me either but i choose to speak out against it, i choose to speak for equality.

          • lol wut?!? I think you’re the one twisting what I said, or at least making a hell of a lot of assumptions about me… bridget’s story doesn’t affect me personally in the slightest right now, models being thin doesn’t trigger me at all, and I’m actually very passionate about raising awareness of and eradicating racism in this country. I just think it’s wrong for you to put her down for talking about this. the argument that “there are bigger problems in the world” can be applied to almost anything, it doesn’t mean the smaller problems shouldn’t get any attention as well. sure these kind of body image problems might affect predominantly white women, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t matter at all and no one should talk about it. I’m also not upset in the slightest, if anything you’re the one taking this whole thing a little too seriously…

          • not to mention, if she’s really recovering, why isn’t she recovering in peace? why is she seeking the attention of the media the same way she was when she was preaching that most people are obese because they don’t eat like her? to me it sounds like she needs to go away for a bit and find inner peace. but all you basics are buying this “poor me, i was oppressed by the fashion industry standards” even though this is complete BS because barbara palvin is bigger than her and gets 100 times more work. y’all want to act as if she’s revolutionary, but we’ve heard this story before there’s nothing original about it, or about her. it’s amazing that she’s able to stay relevant by appealing to her audience – basic white girls. now that i think of it, it’s kind of genius. it’s evident by the fact that every person who isn’t out here applauding her is getting voted down.

          • I am glad Bridget is so open about her recovery as it sends a positive message to other ED sufferers, such as “it is okay to get help” and “you are not alone”. Talking about a personal struggle does not diminish other problems (in the industry) and whataboutism is rarely helpful. The fact that you dismiss her story as “not original” or an attempt to stay relevant is disgusting, to be honest. Please stop.

          • Why didn’t she come forth with her story when she was still booking work? Why is she only now coming out with this story now that her modeling career is over? She capitalized on being tall, thin, white for many years, and now that her career is dead, she needs to go the relatable, body positivity route. And it’s working. Soon she will publish a book and every single one of you here praising her to the heavens will go and buy it.

            Not to mention I haven’t seen any weight gain despite her “I’ve gained weight” claim. Same thing with Alexis Ren who claimed she had an eating disorder but has now recovered, right before her active wear line dropped, even though she looks exactly the same as before.

  3. I’m assuming she started theraphy from the way she can look back and analyze her own behaviour like this. So good for her, even better than eating more I’d say because theraphy is what’ll prevent her from relapsing in the future. Hope some people with the same issues and used to use her as a ‘fitspo’ or ‘thinspiration’ are reading and learning from her experience and being less critical on themselves.

  4. We should look back on the comments on posts with her, on this site, from that period. Plenty of people were arguing she was the epitome of health. Interesting to see this nowadays, now that she is truthful about her disordered ways.

  5. Nice she’s finally saying this because she was annoying before, weird how she changed her story so suddenly. Good she’s apologizing as she should. Her legs look good but all that work wasn’t worth it. When you’re so plain you probably feel like you have to compensate in some way.

    • “When you’re so plain you probably feel like you have to compensate in some way” EXACTLY!!!! same with martha hunt, actually martha looks exotic in comparison. not sure why you’re getting down voted, probably triggered the other average white women who now celebrate bridget as their goddess. there are models bigger than her who get way more work, but none of them are anywhere near as plain.

  6. so she’s basically saying she had/has anorexia and exercise bulimia without actually mentioning those terms. way to fuel the stigma… good for her for realizing she was spouting BS but methinks this is even more BS about her being “over it.” a lot of ppl with EDs do that (esp models/people in the public eye) to try to play the role of hero. she needs to stop posting and maybe go away and heal for herself before she puts herself on a pedestal (narcissist).

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