Iskra Lawrence: “I thought if I looked like “her” I’d be happy, successful and loved”

Iskra Lawrence: "I thought if I looked like “her” I’d be happy, successful and loved" 1

On her body weight journey:

Both of these images are of me. The left is about 10years ago. And the right just under a month ago. I remember being proud of how skinny I looked during this shoot. And how now people call me fat when I’m just happy to be alive and grateful for this body I call my home. I used to seek approval from the fashion industry and tried to be “perfect”. I thought if I looked like “her” (an unrealistic beauty ideal), I’d be happy, successful and loved. All I found was failure (because you can’t change who you are), emptiness (because my time and energy was being used up trying to achieve something completely self absorbed and shallow sacrificing doing things I loved) and unhappiness (because no restrictive diet or abusive exercise feels good).

I share my experiences with you all because if you are feeling like I did there is another way and those recovering from EDs you’re not alone. The best thing I ever did was focus on looking after myself and being the best me I could be. Seeing value in who I was. The impact I could have in the world and people around me. Trying to give, instead of focusing on myself, my image and needing approval from others. And accepting that I am meant to be here just like you, and we were all created to be imperfectly perfect. I started Investing time into self-care, doing things that made me happy. Listening to my body and mind and nourishing them both, without guilt. That is 10years all squished into a lil insta caption but it did take time but it was soooo damn worth it. Because of what I went through My dream has always been to get self-care (mental, emotional and physical wellness) education into schools. And I’ve started that, but I also wanted to create something for adults that still needed a safe space that’s judgement free to go on a positive journey of self love and that’s why I created @everyBODYwithiskra I don’t have all the answers and I’m not ever trying to change anyone or tell people to do this and that etc. But I felt the need to create this as I wish I could have had this when I was struggling and if I’m able to use that to help even one person even better.

… says the 27 year-old model on Instagram.

 

Iskra Lawrence: "I thought if I looked like “her” I’d be happy, successful and loved" 2

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18 thoughts on “Iskra Lawrence: “I thought if I looked like “her” I’d be happy, successful and loved””

  1. That size she’s on the left (aka slim- not emaciated) is an “unrealistic beauty ideal” and “restrictive diet” only to 1st world countries since a few decades.

    • On the left she barely has any muscle tone and looks to be a healthy weight. She clearly has nicely padded thighs even in the first photo. Perhaps she did have unhealthy eating patterns but considering her weight now I would say she switched one unhealthy eating pattern for another. Her fat may be distributed well but She’s still overweight or even obese by BMI. It’s just crazy that the fat acceptance movement and the level of obesity in 1st world countries has caused this shift in what is perceived as healthy. There’s a difference between being emaciated and being slim and healthy.

      • Gwen, totally agree. Any btw, i think people are confusing “chill out and eat whatever no worries” with “healthy”. -.-

        She looks healthy size wise on the right, not so much on the left. She looks ok, nowhere near dangerously fat, but not THAT healthy for cholesterol heart liver etc

      • Its hard to say if she had an eating disorder before, she looked healthy, but she clearly has an eating disorder now. While she may be nicely proportioned, could be lipo, or she could just be lucky, she is not at a healthy weight. Its one thing to have an eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia, and recovering from it. It is another having it and then just eating what you want, becoming obese. She is not there yet, but she is young and already pretty over weight. Another couple years she may easily pack on even more pounds.

        • Who are you to judge how someone recovers from an eating disorder? If in the years following an ED one decides to let go of their obsession with food, and that leads to them gaining weight. THAT IS OKAY.

          WHY is it that Rihanna gets a “pass” for gaining weight but everyone else in the world is torn to shreds???????

    • You know that 1st world countries means more successful right? every country wants to be a first world country.
      even if I agree on her weight being on better terms before, your argument is idiotic.

  2. The message is lovely, and if she’s happy with herself, that’s ALL that counts!
    That being said… I’m not a doctor, so this is from my personal experience only. There is something in between ultra-thin (if that’s not natural for you) and obese. It’s just balance for the most healthful life. I feel like the media could celebrate that more sometimes? Again, just my opinion.
    Also, serious question- how do all these thick girls have no belly!? Again (personal experience) if there’s thickness there’s no flat belly! I’m just wondering. No shade.

    • There has been some speculation about her having had fat transfers done to make her hips and b00ty look rounder. That being said, if your body stores extra weight a certain way genetically and you suck it in on top of that, it’s certainly possible to look this way naturally.

      • We always think the grass is greener 🙂 I always envied the girls who would get a big belly but remained with skinny arms and legs, because with my flat belly and butt (which was flat but wideee) and massive arms and thighs I kept getting comments like “you’re not fat, you’re just big boned/wide/whatever” and I hated that. It was also very hard to dress. Since my weight loss (pretty sure I’m getting annoying with my weight loss talk but hey, I had been trying for 10 years so…) people are like “wow, you are actully not wide!”. Well, duh 😀

      • She has some fat, but I think she gained in the past few months. I personally like some roundness on a woman’s belly. It’s the back fat that I don’t like :/

    • I think they get some help there… i believe if you get a butt lift they suck out your stomach and the suctioned stomach gut goes into the butt. Sounds like a lovely procedure really…

    • It’s possible, all my fat goes to my sides instead of my front or back. The bigger I get the more I look like a linebacker. I like her quote too and if she’s happy then there’s all that matters. I also don’t think she’s obese, although clearly overweight. But she’s still making a living based on her image so I think that takes a bit of power away from the message. Not that I wanted her to be unemployed or something, but you get the point, I hope.

      • I agree with all y’all! And yes, CarrieD I agree. It’s nice that society is less “beauty is a size”, but I do get what you’re saying.

        • Maybe it’s less “beuty is a size”, but it’s still “beauty is a shape” – namely hourglass shape 🙁 Sure it’s the “healthiest” shape, but you can’t really change it unlike your overall body composition 🙁
          I’d think that in age of social media it would be easier to express personality (as opposed to mostly printed media and tv in the past) and thus find someone attractive/beautiful as combination of physical and psychical traits, but so many people still mostly promote just the shape of their buttocks online.

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